So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
