he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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