my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
