I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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