omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
