so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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