But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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