return my video game
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
