There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
