I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize