wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
