Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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