I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
