garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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