Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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