She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
