You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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