u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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