your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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