apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
