i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
