Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
