I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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