oh god the rape fog is back!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
