i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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