K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
