Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
