Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize