I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
