yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
