Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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