just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize