my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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