He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
