Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize