she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
