He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
