my vag is so smooth its legendary
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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