i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
