Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize