his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
