We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
