i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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