You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
