I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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