Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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