I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
