on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
