He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
