doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
