do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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