If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
