Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
