Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Who died my cat blue again?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
