So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
