I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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