I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
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