I think I won the penis lottery.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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