Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
