All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
we're so committed to being not committed
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
