I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
