I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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