I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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