They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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