Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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