i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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