Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
