3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
