sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
