Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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