I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
