hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
