mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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