so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
