Do you still have your period?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
