i permit you to call me
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize