then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
