i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
