Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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