I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
