these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
